Confidently Messy
Did you know that 53% of moms say it’s harder to be a good parent because of work? (1). Are you surprised by this? I don’t know about you, but in my head, I give a ‘no shit’ scoff and am surprised it’s not higher.
Being a working parent is hard. So why am I telling you things you already know? Well, my hope is that I can be kind of helpful and give you a boost of confidence. I am definitely not saying that I ‘have it all figured out’ because I absolutely do not. I have my days where I yell, slip up, and am on my phone too much. But, I have also spent the last few years improving myself and aiming to be intentional and present.
So let’s dive in.
If you read nothing further, know that the best thing I’ve done since having kids is to lower my expectations of myself to be the traditionally perfect working mom, employee, wife, chef, home-maker, and overall activities director.
As we speak, my living room has toys literally all over it and there are, without exaggerating, at least 817 loads of laundry that are clean but in the laundry basket. I know this isn’t the solution for everyone, but after working all day, it is exhausting to try and come home, do all the things, and pick up the toys.
Why don’t my kids do it? My excuse is they are little, but in reality I would rather spend time playing with them and winding down together than having a fight about picking up their toys in this stage of their life.
If you’re thinking my kids are going to grow up without any responsibility, please don’t. They will have responsibility but that is not the era I’m in right now. <<Note my use of the word ‘era’ as I just stayed up way too late finally watching The Eras Tour!
Don’t get me wrong, there are many people in my life that are the type where everything is always in its place and I’m happy that they are able to do that, but it’s just not my style. It really doesn’t bother me that everything isn’t in its place. If you come to my house, it’s lived in, I’m not going to apologize. This is the real, authentic household where we LIVE, PLAY, and LAUGH. And that is my priority.
You may be questioning where this confident mess mindset came from? I wish I could say it’s just how I am but it’s not.
There was one evening where I went to my neighbors house unplanned and it was a true disaster. Like counter tops not cleaned, toys everywhere, boys running around with nerf guns disasters. And you know what - they NEVER apologized for the state of the house.
This is one of those times where it’s something so small and simple, but it has quite literally changed how I parent and helped me more than they will ever know. It’s been probably 5 years since that night and I still think about it almost every time someone is coming over to my lived-in house.
So right now - give yourself permission to live how you want - whether that be the perfectly picked up house, the kind of messy house, or the toy obstacle course house. Embrace it. Be Confident. And be true to yourself.
-Meghan
